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A reminder. This is NOT a crackfic. Repeat, NOT a crackfic! I poured my HEART into this story so don't dis it lol!
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Sit back, and enjoy:
READ ON!
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Chips of the Cookie:
The Darkness Hidden Within the Sugary Dough
'Lloyd sweetie!' Colette proclaimed, tightening her apron and holding up a spoon filled with her latest concoction, 'If you don't mind…'
Lloyd blinked sleepy eyes at his wife as his daughter, Jessica, snuggled deep into his shirt. She cooed happily as he sat up with her in his arms, and looked at Colette as she stared lovingly at him, 'Huh…?' He muttered as Jessica drooled on his shirt.
'If you don't mind, Lloyd…' Colette murmured, her face flushed from beating the dough that would soon become chocolate chip cookies: they were Lloyd's favorite after all, 'Do you want to try this, see if it's good enough?'
Lloyd glowered at the dough with three chips imbedded inside. He looked away when Jessica screeched loudly, laughing aloud and flailing her limbs joyously, 'I could get salmonella, what are you trying to do, poison me?'
'Lloyd, you know that only happens if you eat tainted raw protein…' Colette said. SOMEONE listened during Raine's lectures when they were children, 'Try a bit, come on!'
'HEY BUD!' The couple's door was broken down as Zelos BURST into the room like WOAH! Lloyd blinked at the door which had a Zelos boot print on it, 'It's terrible! Mithos has been resurrected but killed the guy who resurrected him so we don't have to talk about the dead guy and now he's wreaking havoc on the world but worst of all he's kidnapped Sheena in an attempt to force her to revoke her pact with Origin so he can reform the pact and steal the Eternal Blade!' The former chosen of Tethe'alla shouted in one fell swoop, crossing the threshold, grabbing Lloyd's white tails, and dragging him off, 'We gotta save her!'
And in two seconds the PLOT WAS ESTABLISHED!
'Lloyd, what about me?' Colette asked, shouldering Jessica (who miraculously appeared in her arms). She prepared to remove her apron even with her hands full (The magical abilities of a wife and mother), letting her wings appear in a bright flash, 'I can be of assistance!'
'PPPPFFFFT,' Lloyd laughed, waving her away as she stood in the room, cookie dough dripping from the spoon and Jessica coughing up drool on her mother's hand, 'Colette, you're a WIFE, and everyone knows WIVES can't FIGHT!' Zelos and Lloyd laughed for a while, even while the husband was being held by the tails by the chosen. The two then immediately got serious, 'Stay here and be a good girl!'
'I'll just play with Jessica then…' Colette murmured, cooing at her tiny daughter as Lloyd crossed his arms and let Zelos drag him out with a cool smile on his face, and the two were gone! Colette looked at the cookie dough and smiled, 'Well, I'm sure the cookies will be done by the time he comes back! He IS Lloyd, after all!' She blushed at the thought of her handsome Lloyd fighting Yggdrasil all over again. Jessica nearly slipped out of Colette's hands from the slippery drool.
---
Three days later…
'Man! Why are we wandering around Goracchia Forest?' Lloyd whined at Zelos as they wandered through the forest without the Sorcerer's Ring to light their way. Hey, the ring was sacred! What was he going to do, just keep it or something?
'Well, duh!' Zelos said, putting his hands on his hips, 'Because Sheena's hometown is around here somewhere, so that's where Yggdrasil must be!'
'That doesn't make any…'
'Looking for something?' Yggdrasil asked, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.
'Told ya!' Zelos said, laughing as Lloyd glared at his friend.
'Lloyd! Zelos!' A woman cried, and Lloyd's breath hitched in his throat. Sheena was tied up behind Yggdrasil! He was even dragging her along by a rope as if she were a common dog! 'Help me! I can kick ass any day of the week but now that I'm TIED UP I can't do ANYTHING my powers are for naught ASSIST me so I may REWARD you! I'm sure I'll think of SOMETHING!'
Zelos was about to reply that he'd save her but Lloyd shoved the former Chosen out of the way and pulled out the twin blade of Eternity, 'I'll save you, Sheena!'
Yggdrasil laughed, 'Hahahahahaha!' he laughed, 'You'll never defeat me! Hahahahahaha!' He laughed.
'LIGHTNING TIGER BLADE RAWR!' Lloyd roared stabbing Yggdrasil.
'I didn't know you'd get so strong!' He growled as fountains of blood gushed onto Lloyd's face from his stump after Lloyd cut off his arm, 'But I'll come back sometime and when I do, I'm going to kill you!' And with that, he disappeared with a magical ability.
Lloyd was sweating from the arduous battle, and as he sheathed his swords, he wiped the sweat from his forehead with Yggdrasil's disembodied arm. He was leaking so much salty water that he had to remove his shirt, and Sheena blushed.
Zelos apparently slammed his head on a sharp rock when Lloyd pushed him and now he was bleeding out. No one cared.
'Lloyd!' Sheena said as the swordsman kneeled down and began to cut Sheena's ropes with his Eternal Blade, cutting off her hands in the process, 'Why did you take off your shirt?'
'No reason!' He said cheerfully as Sheena stood, rubbing her wrists with her hands. Lloyd suddenly realized they were the sexiest wrists on the planet. Yet he couldn't! He was married to a woman and they had a kid! That would be too terrible to… Aww to hell with it, the man grabbed the ninja's wrists and started smothering them with wet, drooly kisses. Sheena was touched as she watched the drool get her hands and arms wet. Something inside her was moved.
'I… never knew how much I loved you Lloyd!' Sheena suddenly cried, wrapping her arms around the man, squeezing him tight, 'I kinda assumed that Zelos and I would get together but he's dead now so I have no one else to go to!' She cried, refusing to be reminded that there were seventeen thousand million men in the entire world at that moment. She stared at Lloyd's bare chest and suddenly realized he was removing her top. SOMEONE seemed to be eager…
The two dropped onto the forest floor together, each removing the other's various articles of clothing until they were naked upon the forest floor. Anyone in their right mind might have chosen a nice plush bed to have an affair in, but not THESE geniuses! Lol just like Genius the Half-Elf!
So like, a buncha stuff happened and there were many references to penises and vaginas like 'throbbing member' and 'purity ring' and there was much moaning and crying out and suddenly Sheena screeched out the name of her lover, 'Oh Zelos! ZELOS! Give it to me HARD!' Lloyd suddenly blinked, and Sheena grinned sheepishly, 'Uh… Oops…?'
And then the two climaxed together because it wouldn't be as MEANINGFUL if they didn't do it together, and then collapsed onto the leaves and vegetation, tired but ecstatic. The two would have spent the night in the forest but Sheena suddenly wrinkled her nose and glared at the corpse of Zelos, which was already beginning to attract flies. Sheena then shivered in the cold night air and whispered into Lloyd's ear, 'We'd better get back to… where are we going to go back to?'
'Take me home, lover,' Lloyd whispered, kissing Sheena on her love prongs because that was much sexier than her lips, 'To your home.' Sheena blushed.
---
Seventeen days later…
'She's got pneumonia, Master Lloyd,' One of the ninja doctors of Mizuho said to the Eternal Swordsman as Sheena tossed and turned in her bed at her grandfather's home, 'She's got a 25 percent chance to live.'
Lloyd scratched the back of his head as Sheena coughed and hacked up blood, 'Maybe we shouldn't have been rolling on the cold hard ground naked in the middle of the winter snow, huh…?'
The doctor gave Lloyd a half banked glare, 'YA THINK?' He grumbled, standing up and storming from the room.
Lloyd dropped next to Sheena as she continued to hack and cough, wondering how the hell pneumonia got to be so life threatening. He shrugged and assumed it was because the doctor didn't actually know any other life threatening diseases, 'Sheena, whatever happens, the two of us will always be together, because if you die I'm going to slit my wrists and pour my life essence onto your body as the others burn it to ashes and someone uses it as a reagent to resurrect Yggdrasil again after we kill him again.'
Sheena placed her hand on Lloyd's arm, smiling weakly, 'That was a very sweet sentiment, Lloyd,' She whispered, 'But I can't die yet. You see…' She coughed a bit and then continued, 'I'm carrying our baby… The doctor told me while he was paying us a visit, but I couldn't bear to tell you until now. I have to stay alive for our child. I can't die yet.'
Lloyd wondered how the doctor told Sheena only about this wonderful news when he was in the SAME ROOM, but was too busy rejoicing, 'That's wonderful!' He proclaimed, 'I've never had a child before. I'm looking forward to it!'
The two kissed so passionately that it took every fiber of Lloyd's being not to ravish his sick lover right there to avoid letting her be hurt any further, 'Good night, my princess…'
And then he ravished her.
---
Seven months later…
Genis and Regal entered the town of Mizuho to meet with Lloyd and Sheena. They wanted to see how the two were doing now that Lloyd was running the ninja town! Despite the fact that he didn't know anything about ninjutsu! Suddenly all the children were using Sonic Thrust rather than Pyre Seal. No one seemed to care that 10,000 years of TRADITION was destroyed by one prick who knocked their leader up.
'Lloyd! Sheena!' Regal said, chuckling at how pregnant Sheena was. She had morning sickness and was throwing up and had circles under her eyes from lack of sleep and was complaining about back pain, but she GLOWED! She was the most beautiful woman ever even despite the fact that she was passing out from every pain killer known to Mizuho-ians.
'Genis, how's it been?' Lloyd said, hugging his friend in the traditional Mizuho greeting. All the LloydxGenis fans fainted with nosebleeds, 'I'm sure you've,' He chuckled, 'Met my NEW wife?'
'Of course!' Genis said, taking Sheena's hand and kissing it. Sheena passed out from a narcoleptic seizure. The three men laughed heartily at the joke.
'So, how has Raine been doing?' Regal asked the Half-Elf. Genis' face suddenly fell. Lloyd remembered why he was so sad.
'Yeah…' Lloyd murmured, 'Ever since Genis died of a cancerous brain tumor two years ago, she's never been the same…' The two men sighed unhappily at the memory of their good friend…
'Well!' Lloyd said forgetting who they were talking about. He clapped his hands together and asked his guest, 'Who's up for some Meltokian delicacies? Ever since I took over Mizuho I've been forcing the ninjas to steal food for me!'
'You certainly have yourself an awesome setup here, Lloyd,' Regal said, wrapping his arm around Lloyd's shoulder as they stepped over the comatose Sheena towards the dining area. All the LloydxRegal fans squealed with delight and ordered the authoress to write more of them wrapping each others' arms around each others' shoulders.
---
Someodd months later…
'Sheena our little girl is so adorable!' Lloyd said as Sheena stumbled into the room after cutting herself from afterbirth depression, 'What shall we name her?'
'She's been around for three months, Lloyd,' Sheena said, kissing her husband on the cheek. His stupid idiocy was what made him so CUTE! Not to mention he was a TIGER in bed, 'I've already named her Mitsuki-chan.'
Lloyd blinked at Sheena, 'That's not JAPANESE enough!' He shouted, 'We have to show off how JAPANESE we are and name her something AWESOME! Like Natsujofafuyu!'
'Lloyd… that… doesn't make any sense…'
Natsujofafuyulurolu-CHAN!' Lloyd roared, making Mitsuki-, sorry, Natsujofafuyulurolu-chan, cry loudly, 'or is it Natsujofafuyuruloru?'
'Let's just call her Natsu then…' Sheena said, blinking. Suddenly she was hit with an AMAZING idea! 'Hey! Now that I'm not pregnant anymore wanna make love?'
Lloyd dropped Natsujofu… (aww, what the hell was Lloyd THINKING?) Natsu on the floor and rushed off after Sheena as the two discarded their cloths to leave a seductive line leading towards their bed.
As the two writhed on the bed together and Sheena STILL called out Zelos' name (but Lloyd wouldn't change that quirk in her for the world!), Yggdrasil poked his head up from the window and smiled. So Lloyd was knocking up a woman besides his wife huh…? This was perfect…
'Mwahahahaha…' Yggdrasil giggled like a schoolgirl on prom night, rubbing his hands together happily, 'So now my plan will go purrrrrrrfectly. All I have to do is…' His thoughts of world domination were interrupted when the two began to climax and he poked his head back to the window. The glass began to mist up from his heavy breathing.
…
…No one noticed he was there…
TO BE CONTINUED…
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I'm still debating in my mind if there ARE LloydxRegal fans. I saw a ZelosxRegal...
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